Abida Alalawi
4 min readAug 21, 2020

Stop feeling aimless and stuck

Do you ever wake up, sit down on the nook of the bed and ask yourself, What day is it again? Life has grown to be one huge blur. Tuesday, Thursday, what’s the factor of knowing? You’re in fact on autopilot. Most matters don’t excite you, there isn’t a great deal to seem ahead to and the mere fact that you got out of bed this morning is an accomplishment in itself. You’re nonetheless sitting there mindlessly scrolling thru each social media platform as the hours pass by, and you don’t even sense responsible about it. Okay, possibly you feel a little guilty. But what else would you be doing anyway? Even if you had all the power and willpower in the world, what would you do with it?? Not understanding what you desire in life isn’t precisely unique. There are a lot of people dealing with that feeling. In a world of countless opportunities, where all the knowledge in the world is available at the tip of our fingers, where the lives of millions are displayed overtly for anyone to see where the globe is essentially a playground for many no wonder we don’t recognize what we want. For thousands of years, human beings have sought out education thru religion, spirituality, and higher powers. From the second we’re born, our lives are roughly mapped out for us. We research the fundamentals of being human; walking, talking, right, and wrong. We go to school, possibly we go to university. We graduate… and then it’s time to enter the actual world. And for the first time, we’re on our own. No trainer to preserve us accountable, no fellow college students to assist us out, no grade to inform us whether or not we’re doing a proper job or not. What these guiding figures all have in frequent is that they’re generally assigned to us, without us having much say in it We don’t get to choose our biological parents or teachers in school. When you have a job, you don’t get to pick out your manager. Sure, you may be in a position to choose what school you go to and what classes you select to attend and what job you be given to some extent — but there is no actual freedom of choice. We stay in a time where we can get access to the minds and work of thousands of people, living or dead; actual or fictional; but so many people claim to not have anyone to look up to, that they don’t have any role models. I’m a huge advocate of the idea that role models are important, regardless of what age you are, the place in the world you are, or what stage you’re at in life. We all want the instruction of some sort; whatever guidance might mean to you. Now, I like to break up role models into two categories: positive and negative, each being of equal significance and power. Picture your future self as your northern star. It’s where you desire to be heading. A positive role model will assist you to get to your northern star, it’s what you’re strolling towards, it’s what you desire to become. A negative role model will guide you in the opposite direction, it’s what you’re running away from, it’s what you don’t favor to become. The cause why having each positive and negative role model is important is because we’re all different. You might be more motivated by thinking of a good example of what you could be, while someone else might be more motivated by thinking of a bad example of what they could be. Now, the concept of a negative role model appears strange to some. But see, understanding what we don’t want, can assist us to figure out what we do want. It can be tremendously powerful. We may additionally be capable to assume of any individual who represents each what we prefer to become, and what we do not want to become. The very same person might be both your positive and your negative role model. Let’s say one of your parents is extraordinarily ambitious. Perhaps they’ve performed a lot in life, and you want to become that At the same time, they may be very cold-hearted and abusive, something that you don’t favor to become. Now, how do you find role models? I don’t assume there’s one straight reply to that question.

But one thing’s for certain — there’s no shortage of people to look up to, all you really need to do is to pay close attention. When you’re reading a book, watching a speech, meeting someone in person, seeing a character in a movie, pay attention to how they make you feel — I think that’s the very first step. The more you do that, the more you’ll be able to identify what kind of guidance and influence you need in life, and on the contrary, what kind of guidance and influence you don’t need. Now do remember that a role model is not who you are trying to become quite literally, the role model is not your northern star. Your future self is your northern star, and that’s who you are trying to become. The role models will just help put you in the right direction.